Question: What do you call a drummer that doesn't turn up and doesn't call or text to say why?

The motivation for starting RTYD in October 2008 came partly from the trouble I had rebuilding my band Pocket Rocket around the same time. For a few years leading up to this, my band's line-up had diminished in number to two. Myself, and my stalwart bass player and life-long friend, Michael Wilson. It had come to this more out of necessity than musical or personal differences. I had chosen to go back to 'school' part-time to get my Art degree, I was working part-time, and my daughter had just been born. Playing only occasionally suited me, and to facilitate this we needed the drum machine, alias The Phantom Limb. It didn't forget its parts, the tempo, or its place in the band. It didn't complain about the dearth of gigs, either.

Trawling Gumtree and other musicians ads sites inspired the idea of a mature musicians social network that carried musicians ads. Now, one and three quarter years down the line, I know loads of drummers. Hobbyist drummers, to boot. Trouble is, they're all in bands.

Anyway, for a good few months now Pocket Rocket has been drummerless. We have a booking at a Street Festival in King Cross on the afternoon of 10th July. I want to honour this booking. And I would prefer to play it with a drummer. But can I get one? Not so far. The last shot came last week when I threw down the gauntlet on a number of musicians ads sites, challenging any drummer to three rehearsals and a street festival gig with us. No money, just kicks. I got one reply on Gumtree. I sent the guy 4 MP3s, and he rang me an hour or so before rehearsal to make sure it was all still going ahead. He sounded like he was coming from Streatham. He talked about his route, and said 'see you later'.

Well, later came. And later went. No sign of the guy. I sent a text to the guy. No response. Nothing. I nearly left The Phantom Limb at home, too, but thankfully didn't. Because after waiting and hour or so for him, we came to the conclusion he wasn't going to arrive at all, and strapped on the old Phantom Limb.

Fuck it. I'm not in a rush to find a drummer. We want the right guy. The long-term guy. We want a North London drummer. Local, reliable and committed. Like the Phantom Limb.

You switch it on. It plays. You turn it off. It stops. You pack it away. And it comes back next week, at the right speed and bang on it, without fail. It just doesn't have much of a personality. It keeps itself to itself, and doesn't (really) socialise with the other members of the band. You can't have everything, I suppose.

(Polite) Answer:  Rude